Welcome to Adam's Song.net
Fetal Burial Rights, Child and Pregnancy Loss Support


What NOT to say
to a woman who has experienced a pregnancy loss



  1. Now you have an angel looking after you.
    I don't want an angel, I want my baby back.
  2. It's for the best.
    Best for whom?
  3. There must have been something wrong...
    Wrong with me?
  4. A lot of women have miscarriages. It's perfectly normal.
    I don't care if it's normal, it's hapenning to me and my child. There's nothing perfect about it.
  5. You can always have another.
    This baby was lost, not another. This dream has been lost. Another baby won't make this go away.
  6. It was god's will
    I don't need to hear that God wanted my baby dead.
  7. At least you didn't know your baby.
    Whether you held your baby in your arms or only in your mind, this baby is real.
  8. Did you do something you weren't supposed to do?
    Did I cause this? How could I have hurt my baby?
  9. I understand how you feel.
    Even if you have had a miscarriage, every one feels their grief uniquely.
  10. Have you ever thought of not having children?
    Yes, I probably have. I realize that I may never be a mother.
  11. Be grateful for the children you have...
    It isn't a question of being ungrateful or not appreciating what I have.
  12. It wasn't even a baby yet.
    It wasn't your baby. Denying my babies existence only worsens my pain.

Please remember that grief is delicate and individualized.
We've seen instances of people bringing up their pets death or abortion to a woman who just lost a baby. While these are traumatic in their serious way, it will not comfort a woman who has just endured the loss of her pregnancy. We've read still other stories of people saying things like "You didn't really want to gain all that weight anyway" and "In a few weeks you can try again". Needless to say, this didn't ease the pain these mothers were feeling.

Dandelion Seed in Pink. Please, ask for permission if you wish to use any of our graphics or pictures. PLEASE, DO NOT steal them. All designs and graphics Copyright © 2004 - 2006 AdamsSong.net unless otherwise stated. Pictures and all other images copyrighted by their respective copyright holders. Copyright © 2005 - 2006 AdamsSong.net, All Rights Reserved.

Disclaimer: These pages are intended to supply general information. We try to insure the accuracy of this information, but cannot guarantee that this information is accurate. Laws change quickly, and the reader should always ensure that legal information of any sort is up-to-date and accurate before relying on it. The reader should never assume that this information applies to his or her specific situation without consulting competent counsel in his or her home state. The information contained within is for informational purposes only. Nothing herein constitutes the provision of legal advice or services.

One Month Old Baby Feet and Mother's Hands. Please, ask for permission if you wish to use any of our graphics or pictures. PLEASE, DO NOT steal them. All designs and graphics Copyright © 2004 - 2006 AdamsSong.net unless otherwise stated. Pictures and all other images copyrighted by their respective copyright holders. Copyright © 2005 - 2006 AdamsSong.net, All Rights Reserved. Adamssong.net and its affiliates do not provide professional psychiatric or psychological counseling, advice or services . Information obtained at this site is not personalized and can in no way be considered treatment or therapy by themselves.
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DO SAY...

  1. I'm sorry for your loss
  2. I'm here for you
  3. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to heal
  4. Here is my number. If you need someone to just shut up and listen, call me



Two month old baby feet with Mother's Feet. Please, ask for permission if you wish to use any of our graphics or pictures. PLEASE, DO NOT steal them. All designs and graphics Copyright © 2004 - 2006 AdamsSong.net unless otherwise stated. Pictures and all other images copyrighted by their respective copyright holders. Copyright © 2005 - 2006 AdamsSong.net, All Rights Reserved. Internal Links:

  • Message Board
  • Unborn Development
  • About Miscarriage
  • Living Grief
  • Our Law: LB95

    • READ MORE....

    Become a state representative!

    You can help make parental rights a reality by becoming a state representative. Devote some time to finding out what the laws are in your state.

    Are parents allowed to bury the remains of their child in the event of miscarriage?

    Do those rights cover parents from conception to birth or are they limited to certain time periods?

    Are parents notified of their rights or is the burden on them to find out their rights during these difficult times?

    Let us know how we can help!



    Steps for Grieving
  • Exercise your right to proper burial/cremation: You have a human right to the proper disposition of the remains of your child, even if state law... (READ MORE..)


  • Name your child: Honoring your child with a name shows the significance that he/she played in... (READ MORE..)